"In Between"
Mar. 20th, 2021 07:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gunwithoutmusicYou were cute,
And mostly my type.
Mostly.
With a decent sense of humor
And a decent sense of style,
Maybe I could have done better,
But I definitely could have done worse.
We spent our days
Chilling on the couch,
Chilling by the pool,
Chilling in the theme parks,
Chilling at the beach.
It was
(If you'll excuse the pun)
Cool to spend my time
Chilling with you,
An alright guy that was
Nice enough,
Cute enough,
Funny enough...
A guy that loved me,
Maybe more than I loved him.
Well, not maybe,
More like almost definitely,
But it was okay,
And "chill" was what I needed
After my last long-term thing,
Where everything was
Heightened emotions,
Heightened voices,
Heightened ideals,
Heightened heartbreak.
You were easy.
Simple.
If things could have stayed that way,
I might have allowed myself
To say that I was happy,
To say that I loved you
More than anyone else.
But things stopped being simple
The moment that we went out
For the first time to CityWalk,
The moment that I met
Your best friend and roommate.
He was handsome,
He was charming,
He was witty,
He was smart.
We clicked immediately
And spent the night
Enraptured by each other,
Ignoring you.
Remember how upset you were
When we got back to your apartment?
How you told me it seemed like
I liked your roommate
More than I liked you?
I reassured you that wasn't true,
While my mind danced
With thoughts of him.
For three short years,
I stayed with you,
Eagerly waiting for
You to leave for work
So he and I could be alone.
We never betrayed you,
At least not physically,
But we came so close
On a mental and emotional level.
He was everything I wanted,
But you were alright, too.
And mostly my type.
Mostly.
With a decent sense of humor
And a decent sense of style,
Maybe I could have done better,
But I definitely could have done worse.
We spent our days
Chilling on the couch,
Chilling by the pool,
Chilling in the theme parks,
Chilling at the beach.
It was
(If you'll excuse the pun)
Cool to spend my time
Chilling with you,
An alright guy that was
Nice enough,
Cute enough,
Funny enough...
A guy that loved me,
Maybe more than I loved him.
Well, not maybe,
More like almost definitely,
But it was okay,
And "chill" was what I needed
After my last long-term thing,
Where everything was
Heightened emotions,
Heightened voices,
Heightened ideals,
Heightened heartbreak.
You were easy.
Simple.
If things could have stayed that way,
I might have allowed myself
To say that I was happy,
To say that I loved you
More than anyone else.
But things stopped being simple
The moment that we went out
For the first time to CityWalk,
The moment that I met
Your best friend and roommate.
He was handsome,
He was charming,
He was witty,
He was smart.
We clicked immediately
And spent the night
Enraptured by each other,
Ignoring you.
Remember how upset you were
When we got back to your apartment?
How you told me it seemed like
I liked your roommate
More than I liked you?
I reassured you that wasn't true,
While my mind danced
With thoughts of him.
For three short years,
I stayed with you,
Eagerly waiting for
You to leave for work
So he and I could be alone.
We never betrayed you,
At least not physically,
But we came so close
On a mental and emotional level.
He was everything I wanted,
But you were alright, too.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-20 04:53 pm (UTC)I think that had his roommate not been around, we wouldn't have even lasted as long as we did. I broke up with him, giving him a laundry list of reasons, but honestly I think it was just that I was in love with his best friend and with his best friend out of the picture, I saw no reason to drag it out. I just couldn't admit that to myself at the time.