4. Happy

[gunwithoutmusic]

"Photographic Evidence"

I caught a glimpse of myself
In a photo on the wall;
It was from just last year
At around Christmas-time.

My husband and I
Had our arms around
Each other’s shoulders,
And we were smiling.

I looked old.

I remember that day vividly.
I remember dressing nicely
And brushing my hair,
Shaving my face to look my best.

I remember looking at myself
In the mirror and thinking,
‘I look nice today.
These pictures will be great.’

But I look at the photo,
And I don’t think,
‘I look good. I look happy.’

I look at the photo,
And I think,
‘I look old. I look fat.’

When I catch myself
In the mirror these days,
My eyes play tricks
And convince me that

I am looking at
A 20-year-old man,
Without a receding hairline
With a speckling of gray
Just at the temples,
Without the extra pounds
That I’ve put on
Over the years.

When I catch myself
In the mirror these days,
I look happy.

When I catch myself
In a photograph,
I look real.

Comments

[adoptedwriter]

Time catches up no matter how hard we try. All we can do is keep at it.

[gunwithoutmusic]

I'm at that age where acceptance is hard lol - I still FEEL like a twenty-something in my mind, even if my knees and back like to remind me that I'm pushing 40.