"Pendulum"

[gunwithoutmusic]

The pendulum swings wildly,
From one end to the other
In an aleatory motion;
There is no prediction to make,
No certainty to find there.

The undulations of moods
Wreak havoc on psyches,
Where they necessarily
Are released into
An unguarded mind.

As cities build walls
To protect and isolate,
So do I, in a foolhardy attempt
To stop my moods
From matching yours,

To stop my mind from spinning
When you walk in the room.

Comments

[gunwithoutmusic]

Exactly - it's definitely a reality for me, to come home and wonder what I'm going to get when I walk through the door. Thankfully, it's been a little less of reality for me lately, but I don't really have wild mood swings myself generally, so it's tough sometimes to deal with someone who does, since I really don't have an in-depth understanding of it myself.

[alycewilson]

I'd imagine it can be really difficult. My mom dated someone who had a borderline personality, and she could be really sweet one moment and prone to wild accusations the next. I have to admit, I was not surprised when that relationship ended. But that wasn't one with as much history and as much reason to fight for it as what you have.

[gunwithoutmusic]

Oh, borderline is just awful, both for the people who have it and for the relationships around those people. My husband's long-time best friend has BPD and it kills me to see what she puts herself through without any sort of seeming control over it. When she's doing well, she's just a wonderful person to be around, but when she's not doing well, she can be very scary.

I don't know if you've ever seen the show "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend," but the main character has BPD and it's supposedly a pretty accurate portrayal that really gives a good insight into the disorder (despite the fact that the show is ostensibly a musical comedy).

[alycewilson]

Wow. I don't know if that makes me want to see that show more or less! But yes, my mom's ex-girlfriend was very scary when she was in one of her negative moods. My mom tried to help her, but she resisted any help, so it was pretty much destined for failure.

But I've also known people who had BPD and took treatment seriously, and they were easier to be around.