"Riptide"

[gunwithoutmusic]

‘Stay calm,’ I tell myself, as I feel that sadly familiar panic creeping up from my toes, sliding up my legs and to my stomach, which is already beginning to churn like the waves that are surrounding me.

‘What is it they say?’ I try to focus as my feet desperately ache for the touch of the soft sand of the ocean floor. ‘What is it they say? Swim away from the riptide, horizontally. Don’t panic; it can’t pull you under.’

Stay calm. Don’t panic. Easier said than done when I see the shoreline drifting farther and farther away from me, when yet another wave crashes over my head, stealing away my vision for a moment and leaving me disoriented, when I try to breathe carefully, to slow the rapid beating of my heart, and my lungs become salty.

Another crash, and my head emerges from the water again. The panic has fully set in, and I’m too busy trying to calm myself down to make a move. I look out over the water with burning eyes to see my husband. It feels like he is miles away. I try to calm down and swim towards him, but I’ve never really been an excellent swimmer, and I can tell that I’m effectively treading water as the riptide continues to pull me further from the shore.

“Swim!” I hear him shout to me. “Swim to me!”

A large wave crashes over my head, submerging me again for a moment, and when I come back up, I cry out, “I’m trying!”

My arms are tired. My legs are tired. I’m not able to overcome the current and I don’t know how much longer I can keep trying. I take a breath just as another wave pulls me under, and my lungs burn. All I can do is try to keep calm. But I’m so tired and I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. I feel the panic start to subside and a sense of calm overtakes me as I resign to just let myself slip under.

Suddenly, I feel a hand grasp mine, and it jerks me back to reality. My husband shouts at me, “Ride the wave! Ride the wave back to the shore!” I feel warm and safe with my hand in his, and I do my best to surf along the waves. For a split second, my hand escapes his, and the panic immediately surrounds me. I reach out desperately, and my hand finds his again, and my feet finally find the floor of the ocean.

Comments

[murielle]

I have read about riptides but never experienced one. Your description is terrifying. I don't know if I'd ever remember anything I've read and survive. I've had a few near-drowning experiences in my life and that might be why I don't take risks in the water, don't really swim anymore at all. And I used to be such a water baby.

You tell this so well. I'm so glad your husband was able to get to you and help you out of that situation.

[gunwithoutmusic]

It was absolutely terrifying! This actually happened on our last beach trip. It's been a long time since I've been excited to go to the beach (the sun hangover and the sand everywhere stopped making up for the actual beach time a while ago for me), but this time I had a great day and was actually enjoying myself and thinking, "Okay, maybe the beach isn't so bad." When we went to go take one last dip in the water before leaving, I got caught up in the riptide - first time it's ever happened to me - and was very near drowning. Now, the thought of going back to the beach just brings up that fear response, so so much for that, I guess!

Maybe if my husband really wants to go at some point, I will, but I'm certainly never going into the water past my knees again!

[bsgsix]

Barely awake, but trying to get back on here to begin commenting as the season winds down. :)

This is very good, and very realistic. I was caught myself in 2009 - and even though I grew up on the water (I learned to sail when I was about 8-9 - I think I wrote about that this season?), I panicked when I was caught. I knew to swim with the current, not fight it, but panic kicked in and I kept trying to head for the shore. The waves kept crashing into me, and finally, I went under. It felt like forever, but someone must have heard me screaming when I resurfaced here and there before staying under, and the stranger pulled me out of the water. I've gone back into the ocean since - I respect her, and I can't give into my fear when I love her so much, you know? - but I am far more cautious.

But you're right in that you panic even when you know better - when everything still looks perfect around you and you know there IS a way out, well, it doesn't mean you can find it when you're stuck. It's a good metaphor for life, too. We're all stuck, and maybe if we turn sideways, we can free ourselves - but the panic is there, and so often, we flail. And if we're lucky, someone comes along to help.

I definitely felt the fear here. This is excellent work, and I'm so glad you're here in the Top 3! I'm not sure I would have made it, but I do wish I could have joined you. <3

[gunwithoutmusic]

Oh, wow! Thank you for taking the time to comment. :) It's always so good to hear from you.

It's true; even knowing what to do in the moment, even being able to recite the warnings and the "right thing" in my head... it didn't stop the panic. I spent more time trying to make myself not panic than I did trying to actually keep myself above water, which honestly, probably was not the "right thing to do." It's very easy to say, "Just keep calm," when you're a sign on the beach written by someone who's not actively caught in a riptide. Much harder to do when you're in it. I think I made the mistake of trying to swim toward my husband instead of away from him, which made things harder, but it also made it easier for him to grab me and pull me to safety, so it all worked out in the end.

[adoptedwriter]

Oh man! I felt the panic in this!

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you! It was so scary, and I was really trying to capture that feeling!

[halfshellvenus]

Eek! I'm not a strong swimmer either, so this is one of my nightmares. :O

Except in places like Hawaii, I observe the rule I grew up with (because the ocean off of the Pac NW coast is dangerous): never go in above your knees. And there, the ocean is so cold, you wouldn't want to anyway.

I'm so glad you made it out of there all right. You probably won't be going very far into the water again anytime soon, will you? :O

[gunwithoutmusic]

Absolutely not! Even the thought of just going into the water brings up those panic feelings again, so I don't know how long it'll be before I even go in again. But if I do decide to suck it up and be brave, I certainly won't go in past my knees! I'm used to there not being a whole lot of waves here in Florida, but this day was a pretty windy day and so the waves were huge. It was fun for a second floating and letting the waves carry me around, but when they stopped carrying me toward the shore and started carrying me away from it, that was decidedly less fun.

[alycewilson]

What a scary experience. I like how you convey the immediacy of the moment and how it feels like there's so much at stake here; real stakes.

[gunwithoutmusic]

It was so scary! It took me too long to even realize what was happening, and by the time I did it was basically too late. Thank goodness I wasn't out there alone and that my husband was close by in the water.

[alycewilson]

I also wanted to mention that I felt this piece works extremely well with other pieces from this season that you wrote about your relationship with your husband.