gunwithoutmusic: (Default)
[personal profile] gunwithoutmusic
I lied to you
on your dying day,
but I don't know
how lucid you were, anyway,

and I want to say
that, at the time,
it was more of a half-truth
than an outright lie

(and,
in a certain sense,
it wasn't a lie at all),

but it was mostly
the implicit meaning
behind it that you
might have gleaned

—had you the ability
to discern reality
from the waking hell
you were in—

that shames me so much,
and I wish that I could
fulfill all of the promise
that you thought I had,

but I've never really had
the wherewithal
to make anyone proud.

Date: 2024-09-13 04:34 am (UTC)
murielle: Me (Default)
From: [personal profile] murielle
Oh, S! That took me back to my mom's deathbed.

Your poetry is so very rich and deep and beautiful. Sometimes horribly, sometimes painfully, but yes beautiful.

Thank you! ❤❤❤

Date: 2024-09-13 06:21 am (UTC)
halfshellvenus: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halfshellvenus
I'm hoping this is fiction, but either way, it is very well done. Such ache, such regret, such spare beauty!

Date: 2024-09-13 11:12 am (UTC)
adoptedwriter: (Default)
From: [personal profile] adoptedwriter
While mymom isn't actively ying, I have had to fudge a few things because it makes some things , well...less complicates. I get it.

Date: 2024-09-13 02:21 pm (UTC)
bleodswean: (Default)
From: [personal profile] bleodswean
This is clean and strong and unbearably tragic.

Date: 2024-09-13 11:22 pm (UTC)
fausts_dream: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fausts_dream
This is absolutely heartbreaking and powerful.

Date: 2024-09-14 07:41 am (UTC)
swirlsofpurple: (Default)
From: [personal profile] swirlsofpurple
So relatable and heart-wrenching

Date: 2024-09-14 08:23 pm (UTC)
mollywheezy: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mollywheezy
This is so sad!

Date: 2024-09-14 09:28 pm (UTC)
rayaso: (Default)
From: [personal profile] rayaso
This is wonderful. The ache is palpable. It took me back to my parents' deaths. The opening stanza is brilliant!

Date: 2024-09-15 02:30 am (UTC)
muchtooarrogant: (Default)
From: [personal profile] muchtooarrogant
This took me on a bit of a journey. The first stanza made me smile for some reason, it felt almost whimsical. And then, of course, I read the rest, and whimsy changed to sadness and regret. Poetry doesn't always work for me, but I really like what you've done here.

Dan

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gunwithoutmusic

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