7. Hikikomori

[gunwithoutmusic]

I think often about
Our times by the river,
You singing Sarah and
Me harmonizing while
Waiting for you to pass the joint,
Our cheeks aching and
Our toes digging into the wet sand.

It wasn't love,
But something nearly,
That held us together
From the first time that I
Awkwardly told you your hair was pretty
To the last time we spoke,
Still dreaming our dreams and
Planning out our lives together.

How easy it is,
Once proximity is a memory,
To be swept away in the
Current, and to believe
There isn't any fighting it,
To let circumstances dictate.

I wish that I could
Return us to what we were and
Undo all that has happened,
Fight against, and
Find you.

Instead I think often about
Dreaming with you by the river, and
Spend my days avoiding mirrors.

Comments

[dadi]

This is VERY good!

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you so much! :)

[roina_arwen]

Beautiful!

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you :)

[chasing_silver]

Lovely work as usual.

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you!

[erulissedances]

How easy it is,
Once proximity is a memory, ...
To let circumstances dictate.

I wish that I could
Return us to what we were and
Undo all that has happened.

I like the direction you went in your verse here. I enjoy free verse, although there are still some "rules", even with "free" verse. You traverse those well and presented this character as a full character, a character with a mystery.

- Erulisse (one L)

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you very much :)

[muchtooarrogant]

The past can be such an addictive draw, especially when there's an outcome we'd like to change. Nicely done.

Dan

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you :)

[fausts_dream]

O.k, you got me...this is great. Especially the first stanza and the ending.

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you so much :)

[static_abyss]

I can always count on your poetry making me feel a strong emotion. You have such a way of creating the most heartfelt and heartwrenching pieces. Great job!

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you! It's what I aim for so I'm glad to know it's working :)

[bleodswean]

Sad and filled with relatable experience.

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you :)

[halfshellvenus]

I like the feelings of longing and nostalgia that run so deeply through this. Missing someone acutely is its own kind of loneliness and isolation.

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you!

[rayaso]

Really wonderful, especially the third stanza. It was a very moving poem.

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thanks so much :D

[mollywheezy]

Beautiful!

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you!

[murielle]

You really have the ability to dig down deep and take your reader with you. Such a gift!
👏👏👏

[alycewilson]

The pain and isolation of the last stanza is only that much more poignant after reliving a cherished memory.