3. Without You

[gunwithoutmusic]

It isn't like we didn't fit.
More like, we were
Ever-shifting puzzle pieces
From a cheaply made set,
Wavering between
Fitting too tightly
And falling apart at the smallest impetus.

I thought that we would be,
I don't know,
Something really special?
But then I thought that
About everyone before you
And everyone after you.

I guess I'd like to say that
You weren't really special,
But who's the one
That's less special,
The one who's being written about
Or the one who's just a
Phantasmagoric memory,
Who only rears his ugly head
When paralysis overtakes your
Peaceful sleep?

I think that you're selfish;
You think that I'm heartless.

I think that I'm better off;
You don't think of me at all.

Comments

[halfshellvenus]

You made it!

"Ouch" to the sting at the end, but I think it proves the point. You (or the narrator) are better off.

[gunwithoutmusic]

I did! It's been a rough few weeks at work for me, so I have had a hard time gathering my thoughts.

Also I like that interpretation of the ending; it puts a bit of a hopeful spin on things which I always am a fan of. :)

[muchtooarrogant]

Hahaha, the following bit from your poem is so me as well, "But then I thought that
About everyone before you
And everyone after you."

The best thing about past relationships is that they're in the past. :)

Dan

[gunwithoutmusic]

That's for sure - it's nice to have some good memories but they ended for a reason and it's usually not for the best to drudge up the past. Thank you for reading and responding!

[drippedonpaper]

Hugs. Break ups suck. Even when we know that's what is needed.

And yes, why is it always before sleeping that we think of the past?

[gunwithoutmusic]

Haha, my brain just loves to do things like, "hey remember when you were in third grade and did that super embarrassing thing" right as I'm trying to sleep!

[fausts_dream]

Feeling this one today, well done.

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you so much :)

[mollywheezy]

I loved your puzzle imagery! The end was very hopeful, being better off without the former relationship. Great job!

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you thank you!

[roina_arwen]

Ooh, lovely! I especially like the phrase “phantasmagoric memory.”

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you! I enjoyed that too, it seemed like just the right word and I love when that happens.

[adoptedwriter]

Nailed it!

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you! :)

[tonithegreat]

Ooof. Does anyone ever really fit like a puzzle piece? This is relatable. And I'm picking up on that hopeful read at the end, too.

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you so much :)

[n3m3sis43]

I like the metaphor of ever shifting puzzle pieces. Really cool!

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thanks! :D

[rayaso]

This was very well done! Poetry is almost impossible for me to write, so I'm envious of those who can. I loved "we were \ Ever-shifting puzzle pieces / From a cheaply made set" - very evocative.

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you! Poetry has always been fun for me to write, but I never really practiced it too much. I figured Idol's as good a time as an to experiment.

[murielle]

Oh. Powerful. Cuts deep.

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you <3

[alycewilson]

That last couplet is devastating but a great summary of the emotions here. Well done!

[gunwithoutmusic]

Thank you :)