2. Sankofa

[gunwithoutmusic]

Yellow flowers on green wallpaper
A million eyes to see
My fingers caress the bedpost
My neck twisting

My heart beats unfairly

Orange flame on a white stick
The cherry glows and
I catch a glimpse of
A yellowed fingernail
I inhale and hold it
Until my lungs protest

It still smells of you here

Two smiles encased in glass
My fingers slink around
As my toes retract
Clinging futilely to carpet fibers

My brain goes gathering
As a million eyes watch
I empty my blackened lungs
And drag another match
Across the side of its box

Comments

[muchtooarrogant]

The narrator's sense of loss here is palpable. Well done.

Dan

[murielle]

"Two smiles encased in glass..."

I love that! It's so evocative. In so many ways.

Well done!

[mollywheezy]

You've created quite the picture!

[roina_arwen]

I like the idea of being watched by the flowers. Very evocative!

[fausts_dream]

Powerful and not a word wasted. I enjoy your style.

[thephantomq]

The melancholy is just right, here. Great job!

[halfshellvenus]

Vivid and very sad. I agree with the comment about the sense of loss.

It still smells of you here
has such wistful pain, and by the end we know what "my heart beats unfairly" means.

[adoptedwriter]

Great imagery in this!

[bleodswean]

I'm really liking what you're doing with these poems. It's wonderful to be challenged by images and emotion the way you're challenging the reader!

[erulissedances]

Lots to think about in this one. So many little pathways leading away, asking for wandering and exploration.

- Erulisse (one L)

[alycewilson]

You can feel the loneliness and loss in this poem. Those little hints like "my heart beats unfairly" drive it home.

[tonithegreat]

Ooof. Makes me want to light a match just for the tactile sensation.

[xeena]

Gorgeous imagery here, I love how you used the colors 🤩