1. Someone who will love you in all your damaged glory

[gunwithoutmusic]

He liked to
Play with words
In the bathtub
While she vibrated in his skull
And the filth of the day
Sloughed from his skin
And he steeped in it

And who was I
To say what could
Or couldn't be
When all I would do was watch
And there weren't
Enough substances
In the world to prevent
The creep of clarity

When we finally
Saw each other
We scraped our hands
Against the clock
Trying to gather our
Lost moments
And found only dust

Comments

[swirlsofpurple]

This is gorgeously macabre, I adore it

[pixiebelle]

I really like how you worded this. There are some lovely, evocative lines here.

[thephantomq]

Very succinct. Which honestly gives this so much more punch. Well done.

[adoptedwriter]

OMG! So well-versed!

[murielle]

"...the creep of clarity..." And the whole last verse... Are going to be with me for a long time.I

You're back! 😃

[fausts_dream]

Love to see poetry in the competition, particularly when it eschews a third grade rhyme scheme in search of more.

[roina_arwen]

I’m intrigued by this.

[halfshellvenus]

I really like this, and there are so many evocative phrases here. I couldn't help but read this as the POV of the child of an alcoholic father in a dysfunctional family.

[bleodswean]

WHOA! This is rich rich rich - must be all that steeping! What a great visual right out the door! This reads as very serious and I like that about it. I read it three times and your pace forces a slow ingestion! Well done!

[muchtooarrogant]

So many possible interpretations, and that's often the fun of poetry, at least for me.

Nicely written.

Dan

[banana_galaxy]

It's good to see you back and trying something different than last season (although I did love that world you'd created). I look forward to seeing what direction you decide to take things this time!

[static_abyss]

Love the last stanza. The imagery was great and I loved the last line.

[rayaso]

I linked to your reply by mistake and couldn't figure out how to remove it. Sorry.

[alycewilson]

I like how you leave so much open for the reader. I was ruminating on different possibilities for who "she" was: his conscience, a lover, his mother or another close woman? Or perhaps she was his true self, which lay underneath the sloughing of skin and dirt? It feels like there's a desire here to shake off the skin suits and just be purely of the mind. Lovely.

[winter_time]

The emotion in this is beautiful <3

[dadi]

Very interesting!

[mollywheezy]

You've said a lot in a few words! Great job!

[erulissedances]

Wow. I'm going to have to read this again when I have a bit more time. You've got something deep going on here, and I'm only catching the edges right now.

- Erulisse (one L)