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May. 27th, 2023 06:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gunwithoutmusicI found one of my exes on TikTok yesterday, in a completely random coincidence. I just happened across a video and he showed up at the top of the comments list. I thought his profile picture looked familiar so I checked the profile and it was him. I have never really thought of him too fondly after we broke up, and he made a pretty big impact on my life, but it's been some time since I've thought of him.
He didn't look too great; I had a bit of a, 'well, I dodged a bullet,' feeling when I watched a video or two. I thought about reaching out and saying how weird it was that I came across him so randomly after not thinking of him in years. But I didn't want to open that box again, really. And I figured that, like many of my other relationships, I was just a blip in time for him, that he would remember me but not have thought about me in forever either.
Later that day, I relayed to Tyler my strange coincidence. I showed him the video and went to find the comment, but it had disappeared. I assumed that the video had just gotten more comments and didn't think anything of it.
This morning, I opened TikTok and it was still on the video with the missing comment. Out of curiosity, I checked again to see if I could find his comment. Imagine my surprise when I realized that all of the other comments were the same as I remembered. Surely he didn't delete that comment with a bunch of likes on it when his profile was something about trying to get a thousand followers.
Imagine my surprise when, after some quick searching on the app and Google, that he must have blocked me on TikTok. I have profile views turned on, I guess, so he must have received a notification that I went to his profile and then blocked me.
I rolled my eyes a bit. Maybe I should have said something so it didn't seem like I was internet stalking him? Anyway, in a certain sense it made me feel good, like it was nice to know that I had an impact on him as much as he did on me. Strange that he'd go straight to blocking me without saying anything, but I guess that's the double-edged sword of living online and being able to curate exactly who does and doesn't exist in your world.
And there's another horrible sci-fi story idea to fester in my head.
He didn't look too great; I had a bit of a, 'well, I dodged a bullet,' feeling when I watched a video or two. I thought about reaching out and saying how weird it was that I came across him so randomly after not thinking of him in years. But I didn't want to open that box again, really. And I figured that, like many of my other relationships, I was just a blip in time for him, that he would remember me but not have thought about me in forever either.
Later that day, I relayed to Tyler my strange coincidence. I showed him the video and went to find the comment, but it had disappeared. I assumed that the video had just gotten more comments and didn't think anything of it.
This morning, I opened TikTok and it was still on the video with the missing comment. Out of curiosity, I checked again to see if I could find his comment. Imagine my surprise when I realized that all of the other comments were the same as I remembered. Surely he didn't delete that comment with a bunch of likes on it when his profile was something about trying to get a thousand followers.
Imagine my surprise when, after some quick searching on the app and Google, that he must have blocked me on TikTok. I have profile views turned on, I guess, so he must have received a notification that I went to his profile and then blocked me.
I rolled my eyes a bit. Maybe I should have said something so it didn't seem like I was internet stalking him? Anyway, in a certain sense it made me feel good, like it was nice to know that I had an impact on him as much as he did on me. Strange that he'd go straight to blocking me without saying anything, but I guess that's the double-edged sword of living online and being able to curate exactly who does and doesn't exist in your world.
And there's another horrible sci-fi story idea to fester in my head.
